We should all begin to tune into our bodies more often, looking and listening for subtle messages that it sends. Yet, if I know one thing about feelings it’s that they only get harder and harder when we push them away and they only get easier if we acknowledge them by giving space and air. So much of the illness we experience is because we aren’t equipped to process these feelings in a healthy way. Sometimes this means a lot of talking and a little less action (but that’s an essay for another day), and sometimes it means that all of my talking is muffling the sounds of my intuition.įeelings really are hard. I enjoy sitting down with a confidante and hashing out everything that’s on my mind, going through potential scenarios and weighing options in detail. Do I need to elaborate on this one? I will anyway. Silence holds almost every answer, including how to actually process the feelings we are scared of. So maybe space between our worry and what we think needs to be immediate is a grace we can grant ourselves a little more often. Everything and everyone had taken care of itself. Guess what? When I turned the phone back on at the end of our excursion, everything had indeed been fine. It was difficult for me to push the button and to trust that it would all work itself out while I was doing my thing. So I had guessed I would be perfectly happy to set into airplane mode for a weekend and honor my introverted side that needed a break from the notifications.īut, I’d left a few real world loose ends untied that made me nervous and had a family health situation going on that I felt guilty about ignoring. This is, certainly, the anxiety talking but I’ve been grateful for the Do Not Disturb feature. I hate seeing it light up, fearful that someone needs something from me, that there’s been a disaster or – worse- that I’ve fucked something up. In complete seriousness, lately I’ve been extra resentful of my cell phone. Life will go on even when we’re off the grid. I had forced myself into a situation where I’d have to face the feelings and issues that I’ve been so carefully avoiding feeling lately.Īnd I chewed on a few things while I sat quietly with my heart: And I had a lot of thinkin’ to do – about my health as of late, about how I want my career to move forward, the habits in my life that contribute to my wellness (and lack thereof), about what I want the next steps to be in my relationship, about what I’m sorry for and who deserves an apology, about self-worth and confidence and integrity and motivation. When you’re walking for six hours in a day, you’re granted the luxury of precious time to think. Five women going off the grid for 3 days, exploring Big Sur and trekking to the Sykes Hot Springs that lie 10 miles into the Ventana Wilderness was the agenda. We pulled it off at the absolute last minute – because something told each of us that we needed to make it happen. This adventure seemed like something of a miracle already. We were embarking on (what I have decided is the first annual) Ladies Backpacking Trip. Waiting for us there were two of Molly’s local friends and a car with a tank of gas. So a few days ago, I hopped into a car with my bestie in Orange County and took off up the freeway to Molly’s house. Tons of coffee, too much wine, fatty comfort foods and Netflix sessions had replaced my dialed in rhythm. I’ve found myself throwing my healthy routines out the window and all to often turning to my tried and true numbing tactics to suppress all the feelings. Frequent anxiety attacks and feelings of irrational overwhelm and worry have been wearing me down. This year of growth is simultaneously exciting and terrifying. I’ve been unnecessarily bickering with my boyfriend, falling behind and feeling inadequate in work, having drama in friendships and feeling disconnected from my family. Life has been nuts for me lately, truth be told. I’m having my Cheryl Strayed moment after time spent backpacking with lady friends in Big Sur.īecause after a few years of coping, I know by now that I’m hard-pressed to find a better reset button than heading into nature and I’m usually going to come out of the experience with a little more insight into the nuances of my personal journey.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Details
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |